SomnoStride - Run a Marathon in Your Sleep
Twitch your way to 10km while you dream. Wake up sore, smug, and fully rested (allegedly).
Simulation notice: This product does not exist. No item will ship. No real payment method is collected. VibeCoins have no monetary value.
Team buy - save 20%
599VC 479.00Buy with 2 friends and everyone gets the team price.
Available offers
Bank Offer 10% instant discount with VibeBank cards - capped at ₹0 (it's all fictional). T&C
Coupon Apply code VIBE100 for 100 bonus VibeCoins on this order. T&C
Bundle Deal Buy any 3 vibe items, get an extra 5% off your imaginary total. T&C
No Cost EMI Pay in 12 easy installments of exactly zero real rupees each. T&C
Deliver to
Get it by Mon 20 Jul · FREE
Add a pincode for an express (still fictional) estimate. Delivery is always free.
Free delivery
7-day vibe returns
1-yr imaginary warranty
Highlights
- ✦Micro-actuator anklets turn REM twitches into 'strides'
- ✦Logs phantom mileage straight to your fitness app
- ✦Dream-coach voice whispers your split times
- ✦Bedmate mode: only your legs run, the rest of you sleeps
- ✦Warranty void if you actually wake up rested
Specifications
| Brand | Halcyon |
| Model | SomnoStride |
| Category | Digital |
| In the box | 1 unit, 0 chargers, 1 unspoken expectation |
| Material | Reclaimed dreams |
| Weight | 5.01 kg (fictional) |
| Warranty | 1 year of imaginary coverage |
| Country of origin | The Simulation |
| Customer rating | 4.5 / 5 |
Ratings & reviews
4.5
18,760 vibe ratings
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Great for the ego
Told everyone at the gym I own SomnoStride. Nobody could prove I don't. Undefeated.
Back in my day nothing cost money
This costs no money. Finally, a product that respects tradition. Three stars, on principle.
10/10 would not buy again
Spent my entire VibeCoin fortune. My real bank account remains untouched. This is financial genius.
Suspiciously fake
Did my research. Turns out it doesn't exist. Which is exactly what they told me. Respect.
Finally, honesty in retail
A store that admits nothing is real? Groundbreaking. I've signed up for the newsletter I know doesn't send emails.
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Questions & Answers
Q: Is the color accurate?
A: The color is a feeling, and feelings render differently on every screen.
Answered by @retail_rex · 👍 helpful
Q: Is this waterproof?
A: It is water-adjacent. Do not test this. Or do - it's fictional.
Answered by @drip_dev · 👍 helpful
Q: How long is the battery life?
A: 14 fictional days, or until the vibe runs out - whichever is funnier.
Answered by @fomo_finn · 👍 helpful
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