Aeternum Stultus - The World's Stupidest Costly Watch
37 useless complications, one solid gold caviar spoon, and a hand-painted horse. You wouldn't understand.
Simulation notice: This product does not exist. No item will ship. No real payment method is collected. VibeCoins have no monetary value.
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10,00,000VC 8,00,000.00Buy with 2 friends and everyone gets the team price.
Available offers
Bank Offer 10% instant discount with VibeBank cards - capped at ₹0 (it's all fictional). T&C
Coupon Apply code VIBE100 for 100 bonus VibeCoins on this order. T&C
Bundle Deal Buy any 3 vibe items, get an extra 5% off your imaginary total. T&C
No Cost EMI Pay in 12 easy installments of exactly zero real rupees each. T&C
Deliver to
Get it by Tue 1 Sept · FREE
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Free delivery
7-day vibe returns
1-yr imaginary warranty
Highlights
- ✦37 individually useless sub-dials, none tell the correct time
- ✦Solid 18K gold built-in caviar spoon (left-handed only)
- ✦Hand-painted oil portrait of a horse where the hour hand should be
- ✦Diamond-encrusted fidget-spinner bezel for nervous billionaires
- ✦Twin golden cherub crown guards judge your outfit silently
- ✦Albino ostrich leather strap, requires its own humidor
Specifications
| Brand | Chronaria |
| Model | Aeternum Stultus |
| Category | Watches |
| In the box | 1 unit, 0 chargers, 1 unspoken expectation |
| Material | 100% pure hype |
| Weight | 6.23 kg (fictional) |
| Warranty | 1 year of imaginary coverage |
| Country of origin | The Simulation |
| Customer rating | 5.0 / 5 |
Ratings & reviews
5.0
8,842 vibe ratings
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Stacked 47 fake discounts
Got it 200% off. They paid ME in feelings. Economy is healing.
Back in my day nothing cost money
This costs no money. Finally, a product that respects tradition. Three stars, on principle.
Cheaper than therapy
Instead of processing my emotions I bought Aeternum Stultus. Highly recommend. Do not tell my therapist.
Great for the ego
Told everyone at the gym I own Aeternum Stultus. Nobody could prove I don't. Undefeated.
Impulse: satisfied
I did not need this. I do not have this. I am at peace. Five stars.
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Questions & Answers
Q: Is this waterproof?
A: It is water-adjacent. Do not test this. Or do - it's fictional.
Answered by @drip_dev · 👍 helpful
Q: How long is the battery life?
A: 14 fictional days, or until the vibe runs out - whichever is funnier.
Answered by @fomo_finn · 👍 helpful
Q: Is the color accurate?
A: The color is a feeling, and feelings render differently on every screen.
Answered by @retail_rex · 👍 helpful